Character Assassination Carousel: Good Dog Carl is a Bad, Bad Dog

I’m so excited!

I’m riding the Character Assassination Carousel with Ninja Mom Nicole Leigh Shaw!

Nicole Leigh Shaw's Character Assassination Carousel

Another Book Bites the Dust: Goodbye Good Dog Carl

What is the Character Assassination Carousel? Why, it’s a lovely blogging tradition in which NinjaMom invites intrepid bloggers to skewer their children’s beloved detested picture book.

Last time, it was Meredith at Pile of Babies who took on the big scary Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? And NOW it’s your very own moi–Kylie–with Good Bad Dog Carl.

Good Dog Carl Character Assassination Carousel

Bad Dog, Bad, Bad Dog

Good Dog Carl is the chilling cautionary tale about a neglectful mother who abandons her baby–wearing nothing but a diaper and the top-half of a blue-striped, ruffle-necked clown suit–to the whims of a vicious Rottweiler.

So-called ‘author’ Alexandra Day was apparently at a loss for words when she published this book. The scantily-clad baby’s brush with death is depicted almost entirely through illustrations, leaving more to the reader’s imagination than even ‘Good Night Gorilla.’ Perfect for the Character Assassination Carousel!

Bad Dog Carl wants to regain his Alpha Status with Mother–who was HIS MISTRESS FIRST–by doing away with the pesky baby, but he is a wise, wise assassin and knows he must disguise the crime.

The Death Cannot Look Like a Mauling… But Carl has a fool-proof plan.

Just how will he disguise his crime? And how fool-proof is his plan, really? And just WHERE did mother go?

Let us begin.

(click the first image to start a slide show)

Take Another Spin on the Character Assassination Carousel

Whose turn is next? Why… It’s that Harold and his F’ing Purple Crayon over on Miss Spartacus’ blog! What’s the problem with Harold??? As Miss Spartacus astutely points out:

The problem is this: crayons cannot peacefully coexist in a house with this book. The book quite literally illustrates the miscreant behavior of drawing all over the walls and plants the seed of artistic glory in our little sponges’ heads. Of course they are going to model the behavior they see in books, as in life. They are children. That’s what they do.

You can get your ticket to ride at NinjaMomBlog.com  and check out the HILARIOUS assassinations that have preceded Carl’s.

What children’s book (or grown up book, but NOT 50 Shades of Grey–that’s been done) would you satirize for the Carousel if you got a chance to ride?

  One thought on “Character Assassination Carousel: Good Dog Carl is a Bad, Bad Dog

  1. March 6, 2014 at 8:50 PM

    I’ve never heard of this book before this post, and looking at the pictures, I can’t imagine any other way for this story to go besides your way. It certainly can’t get any better than this,

    • March 6, 2014 at 10:02 PM

      But it could get much, much worse.

  2. February 5, 2014 at 5:20 PM

    This was intensely amazing, Kylie. WTF is going on in this book, really? There is some serious backstory going on if you think it’s OK to leave an infant with a dog.

    • February 5, 2014 at 6:09 PM

      Right?! Right?! Thanks so much for tweeting about this. It made me go ‘squee!’

  3. February 5, 2014 at 12:45 PM

    Oh, girl, I’ve got one for you, but I’ve got to dig it out. This was hilarious, by the way, but I think you’ve been watching too much Family Guy. Oh, wait. Stewie plots to kill Lois, but Brian would love to kill Stewie at times. I’m sure they’ve been to fisticuffs. And Brian does want Lois all to himself – or he did before Seth MacFarlane killed him OFF. Hell, I just remembered that. It’s like I repressed it because it makes me so sad. Wait. Just discovered that he brought Brian back a few weeks later. I wouldn’t know. I stopped watching. Hear that, Seth? Pull that crap again…

    Anyhoo, this is great. Love it!

    • February 5, 2014 at 2:50 PM

      I’ll have you know that I haven’t watched the Family Guy in years. Decades, even ;)

      Thanks Cristy.

      • February 5, 2014 at 4:35 PM

        Oops. Sorry about that. Guess I’ve ruined the show for you now. Spoilers!

  4. February 5, 2014 at 12:04 PM

    OMG, this is hilarious. How do I play?

    • February 5, 2014 at 2:49 PM

      OOOOOHHHH. You’d be fantastic at this! Go to Nicole’s website and send her an email. Should be a link in the post. You can see all the books that have been done, so you can narrow your targets ;)

  5. February 5, 2014 at 11:49 AM

    Reblogged this on The Life of Kylie and commented:

    Take a Wild Ride on the Character Assassination with Bad Dog Carl, and his new frenemy, Harold with his F’ing Purple Crayon. Click the post and scroll down to get the link to the latest hit in the Character Assassination Carousel: Miss Spartacus and that little graffiti fiend, Harold.

    • February 5, 2014 at 4:16 PM

      Thank you! So nice to have found you and your blog to read… especially now that I can’t sleep for fear of Carl coming for me and the family.

      • February 5, 2014 at 4:28 PM

        Wherever you turn, he’ll be there.

    • February 5, 2014 at 4:20 PM

      Thank you!! I’m so glad to have your funny blog to read… especially now that I can’t sleep for fear of Carl coming for me and the family. *shudder*

      • February 5, 2014 at 4:29 PM

        Thrilled to meet you as well! I always felt there was something suspicious about Harold…

  6. January 21, 2014 at 1:46 AM

    Love it. And what sort of mother goes out and leaves the baby home alone anyway? Bad parenting before we even start. I think you’re right with the drugs idea…

  7. January 15, 2014 at 6:54 PM

    When I used to work in a library, I saw the Carl Dog book, but I never opened it up. My children were past picture books. Your take on the book is really funny! What was the author thinking? That mother would have a social services case worker in real life.

    • January 15, 2014 at 7:34 PM

      Exactly. Tsk, tsk!

  8. January 14, 2014 at 8:02 AM

    Oh my gosh! This is so demented! I loved it!!

    • January 15, 2014 at 9:43 AM

      “Demented” Can I use that as a promo for my blog???

  9. January 13, 2014 at 4:14 AM

    If you made up the words for this book, then you are AMAZING. However, I would not put it in the “children’s” section at the library. LOL! :D

    • January 13, 2014 at 3:52 PM

      It’s official. I’m amazing. And not G-rated.

  10. dbs
    January 11, 2014 at 9:19 AM

    Whoa. That was terrifying AND hilarious!

    • January 11, 2014 at 12:26 PM

      I’ll take that as a compliment ;)

  11. January 8, 2014 at 11:30 PM

    We agree with Carrie with a slight difference in networks & will wait to see the….ahem, (sorry Carrie, H.B.O Not Showtime) documentary or perhaps…can it be? A miniseries of the mauling dog & swimming baby!!! “Dog-eat-Dog-world?” Perhaps it will be a success?! Loved this post, had never heard of Character Assasination Carousel, Sharing now Kylie.

    • January 9, 2014 at 6:59 PM

      Thank you!!!!!!!!!

  12. January 7, 2014 at 7:41 AM

    In my imagination, the baby fights back by feeding the grapes to Carl. Then Carl puts the baby BACK in the tub with the blow dryer. It’s a beautiful ending!!! Great job with this book!!

    • January 7, 2014 at 8:05 AM

      Love it! Grapes are poisonous to dogs so it could be a murder-suicide too…

  13. January 6, 2014 at 11:00 AM

    We love love love this book in our house. LOVE. When I taught, I used wordless picture books all the time because it helped kids use their imagination and inferring strategies. That being said, your version is very funny and I’ll think of it every time we pull out that book from now on. Also, this is a goldmine- I’m sure lots of wordless books could have similarly funny results- maybe for a drinking game at a party?

  14. January 6, 2014 at 10:30 AM

    I’m so glad I never came across this book when my kids were young. Creepy! Love your interpretation of it. In fact, I think it’s ready for a slot on Showtime. Seems to have all the mature elements that network loves. :)

  15. January 6, 2014 at 9:13 AM

    What. The. Hell? I’ve actually never read (looked at, because it’s hard to read a book with no words), “Good Dog, Carl.” Why Cujo? Because in the basement scene, that’s all I see.

    Great job! Good Blogger, Kylie. Good Blogger.

    • January 6, 2014 at 9:25 AM

      What? You don’t think it’s totally normal to leave your baby alone with an enormous dog known for mauling people??

  16. January 6, 2014 at 5:33 AM

    Many children’s books are disturbing – stupid or impossibly intelligent children, neglectful or dead parents and hapless animals. Very funny post!

    • January 6, 2014 at 8:44 AM

      They all seem to be teaching children value lessons about independence and the dangers of the big, bad world…

  17. January 6, 2014 at 5:13 AM

    This was fantastic and freaking hysterical. I can’t imagine the amount of time and effort it took in creating this, so kudos just for *that*. Carl looks like he’s peeing on the baby’s head in First Things First. Or even more awkward, bad pedophile-dog Carl.

    • January 6, 2014 at 8:46 AM

      Oh!!! Ha!!!! Wish I’d thought of that!

      I spent hours on this. And many of them were wasted putting captions and my handle directly on the photos, which turned out to be too grainy/poor quality to see after moving them back and forth between too many apps. So I went back to this… the easy route. My husband very kindly took care of our son and graciously missed out on a date night for this. (Don’t worry, he was rewarded later.)

      Feel free to share!! Seriously. Share this post.

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