The First Time I Saw…. Trifextra Challenge

A Love Poem to My Husband

A Love Poem to My Husband

The First Time I Saw…

Tilt of your smile,

Black of your hair,

Lilt of your walk,

Depth of your stare–

Heat filled me up

All else a blur

But this I knew:

You are him. I’m her.

 

A response to:

This week’s Trifextra challenge.  This week we are asking you to count syllables.  And words.  It’s a lot of math for those of us who might be more accustomed to dealing with words, but we’re confident you can pull it off.
We are asking for a 33-word response to the following snippet:

The first time I saw. . .

Here’s the catch: all of your 33 words must be one syllable each.  We’re going low-brow on your this week.  Or not.  Can you class it up under these restrictions?  Give us your best.

To clarify, we are giving you 5 words.  We want another 33 from you, for a grand total of 38. – See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.MiIYUtYF.dpuf

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  One thought on “The First Time I Saw…. Trifextra Challenge

  1. January 19, 2014 at 4:54 PM

    I’ve never done one of these challenges before. You say you weren’t used to doing this but you made it look effortless!

  2. January 19, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    Well, that’s just lovely. Thanks for linking up with this beautiful tribute.

    • January 19, 2014 at 4:11 PM

      Well, thank you!

  3. Draug419
    January 19, 2014 at 6:56 AM

    Great work.

  4. January 19, 2014 at 5:58 AM

    Awww.. You ole honeydripper, you!
    Well done!

    • January 19, 2014 at 10:56 AM

      Ha! I’m as sweet as they come…

  5. January 18, 2014 at 1:50 PM

    This is so sweet and beautifully written!

  6. January 18, 2014 at 11:30 AM

    The rhyming structure adds to the cadence of the poem but, more than that, the message it conveys is powerfully life-affirming and beautiful. Well done and, congratulations on finding Love. :)

  7. January 17, 2014 at 11:49 PM

    The rhyming adds to the dimensions within it and the end result is so beautiful.

    • January 18, 2014 at 8:55 AM

      Thank you!!

  8. January 17, 2014 at 9:24 PM

    This is quite good. By the way, I thought it would be fair to use short words in my note as well. :)

    • January 17, 2014 at 9:46 PM

      Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.

  9. Momo
    January 17, 2014 at 1:59 PM

    Sweet and nice work with the rhyming. I found the one syllable limit hard enough – rhyming was out of the question. :)

    • January 17, 2014 at 8:22 PM

      Poems have been the easiest way for me to deal with the 33-word limit.

  10. January 17, 2014 at 3:22 AM

    hey very nice blog i like it.. :)

    • January 17, 2014 at 8:23 PM

      Is your name Shakespeare?

      • January 17, 2014 at 8:28 PM

        people r call me that name..means its mu nick name

      • January 17, 2014 at 8:29 PM

        But why you ask me??

        • January 18, 2014 at 8:58 AM

          Just making sure this wasn’t a spam comment ;)

  11. January 16, 2014 at 9:17 AM

    That’s beautiful!
    Did you show this to him?

    • January 16, 2014 at 9:43 AM

      Surprised him with it this morning. He sent me a happy text :)

  12. January 16, 2014 at 7:39 AM

    Lovely ~

  13. Twindaddy
    January 16, 2014 at 6:02 AM

    Awwwwww….

  14. January 16, 2014 at 12:21 AM

    So sweet! :)

    • January 16, 2014 at 12:26 AM

      Thanks Rara!

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