Half-Life

What is this half-life?

This life of hopes and ambition, limitless potential that has turned to dust. Dust on the mantle. Dirt on the floor. Laundry. Laundry, endless laundry. And dishes. So many dishes. Long sleepless nights. Teething and diapers. Ear infections and colds that won’t end. Mornings of rushing and stalling and shouting and tears.

How did this happen?

Each decade is smaller than the last.

The first decade: so full of firsts: first words, first thoughts, first cartwheels. First booksread, first friends made, first memories. The memories that last. Ambitions: I will be president! I am the long lost princess, and they will find me! I will be a famous singer. A saint. A mother. A writer. I will be something. I will be something the world has never seen, something the world needs.

The second decade: first loss, first grief. But there is accomplishment. There is ambition. There is talent and ability and belief. There is hope. There is so much pain, but there is hope. There is potential. Bursting potential.

The third decade: loss after loss. The world grows smaller. The potential becomes focused, proven. The path becomes clear. Career. Marriage. A life takes shape. But it is all a lie.

The fourth decade: let go. Move on. Reinvent. Find love, real this time. Find a new path.

Where is the path? Is there a path? I’m not sure I can find it. There are dishes to put away. I need a nap.

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Part of the solution since 1973.

11 thoughts on “Half-Life

  1. OH! This post is striking! Love it. So beautiful. And don’t worry about finding the path Kylie. You are always right on it, faint though it may be to see…xo

  2. Beautiful post. I’ve missed your writing. The clarity and simplicity of this summary is really effective, evocative, striking. And I love the photo. Lunch or breakfast soon, really. I haven’t forgotten.

  3. The way you illustrated life is so perfectly relatable…poetic, in fact. I think it is this season, so many are feeling this way…I was on my way to writing up my first post of this month in a similar vein. I think sometimes for me, it helps to get out of my head and just do what feels right…the path reveals itself when we take steps and it’s okay if we were going the wrong way or hardly got anywhere walking in circles…at least we’re moving, right? We can always turn around if need be.

    1. Thank you. Well said. I haven’t written much this month either. I needed to get this out of my head… One step on the way, who knows where! I hope you are well.

      I always appreciate your comments, friend.

  4. Yes, I know what you mean even though the teething and diapers aren’t a part of my daily grind. Maybe every decade brings reinvention. A little bump back on track or onto another track. But lately I share that feeling: “Am I even ON a track? Am I even MOVING?! Is everything just moving around me so I THOUGHT I was moving, but now I’m starting to realize I’ve been STUCK??”

    So there, sister.

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