Every time I see a blog-cronym, like NaBloMoFo (or whatever), all I can think of is the grown-ups talking on a Charlie Brown Special:
Well, to tell the truth (which I must, because I’m compulsively honest), the blog-cronyms also bring to mind a certain expletive that involves mothers and a naughty, talented, and flexible word that can serve as every part of speech, even an infix!
Now, I never, ever swear.
Well, almost never.
Okay, I reserve swearing for when I stub my toe or when my children are taking an un-F***ing-believably long time to get in the car in the morning and we’re late and I’ve just F***ing had it.
But these are merely moments of extreme (mental, emotional, and moral) weakness.
Rare… so very, very rare.
You believe me, don’t you?
On those exceedingly rare occasions that I swear, I pronounce it F***ing (rhymes with ‘ring’), as opposed to F***in’ (rhymes with ‘spin’), much to everybody’s amusement.
I’m so prissy.
Did you know prissy is short for precise? It’s true! Look it up.
But this is the HoGoTru: I never swear when I write.
It just seems too easy. Too lazy. A cheap laugh.
I love language too much…there are so many precise words to choose from. And I am one prim, proper, and precise little lady.
But tonight, I’m feeling easy, lazy, and cheap.
So here goes! KyBloPoFoMoFo, in table format (TaFo):
|When you write…||I think…|
|NaBloPoMo||You let that nasty, blond, po’ MoFo do what?|
|VeganMoFo||She may be vegan, but that MoFo can cook!|
|NaNoWriMo||Nana’s not gonna write any mo’, MoFo.|
|NaPoMo||Nasty poor MoFo, why you no write no mo’?|
So, MoFo, Na you can Blo my Po… you finish the sentence!
I thought I was making up that part about prissy being short for precise. I was going to play a trick on you. It was a test to see if you’d really look it up. And then I Googled it. And it is true. I can’t tell a lie, even when I try.
That means I’m just a natural-born etymologist, which is kinda like an epidemiologist of words. So I guess it’s good that I went into public health instead of continuing in linguistics after all. IT’S ALL COMING TOGETHER! My PlaWoDo is Almo’ Co.
In case you didn’t get that, and all you could “hear” was Charlie Brown’s teacher going MwaBlahMwa, the translation is: “My plan for world domination is almost complete.”)