XXX-Mas

Elf-shaming

Ahhh. Christmas Memories.

At a family gift exchange a few years ago, I was excited to open this present from my brother and his girlfriend:

Happy Holidays from the Christmas Bunny!
Happy Holidays from the Christmas Bunny

“A rabbit! Ours broke! We needed one of these!” I exclaimed.

How did they know? I thought. This is the best Christmas present ever. It’s so awesome how we’re all grown up now. Maybe my brother really knows me after all, or at least his girlfriend knows what’s what.

With joy and excitement, I looked at my new boyfriend. This was his first family event.

His eyes grew wide.

Awkward silence.

Confused faces.

“Ohhhh! It’s for wine! It’s a wine opener.”

“Yeah,” my brother said. “You guys like wine, right?”

“Um, yeah. We drink wine. Um, this is great. Wow. Thanks. We could really use this.”

With relief, we moved along to the next person’s present.

I guess my brother doesn’t know my tastes that well after all.

Share your most awkward holiday memory…

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Part of the solution since 1973.

27 thoughts on “XXX-Mas

  1. This same appliance was gifted to my mom and no one really knew what is was! Lots of awkward silence followed by laughter. They still laugh about it to this day. It’s for the wine, silly! I was bummed I wasn’t there to see the whole thing.

    1. See! See, world!!!! It’s not just me!!

      It’s very confusing. Naturally, people don’t think “wine opener” when they see “electronic rabbit.”

      Glad to know at least some of your family members hang out with me down in the gutter.

  2. First – you must explain sex in the city and rabbits…

    My awkward Xmas story – when I was around 11 or 12, we went to a family friend’s house for Christmas. We always did once we moved from NY to AZ…anyway – for some reason one of the myriad of male cousins (to the family friend) kissed me and insisted on holding my hand. I was too stunned and horrified to defend myself at the moment. So the next day, Christmas day, I had a stomachache ALL day about it and when he called me (he was 13) I answered the phone, heard his voice and then hung up on him. Later on when we went back to the same friend’s house for Xmas dinner, I had to avoid this guy for the whole day. I was so embarrassed (and everyone teased me about being boyfriend/girlfriend then was mad at me for ignoring the kid – but he was gross and now he looks like an ex-con in a recent picture I saw of him)…I don’t handle rejecting someone well. Talk about AWKWARD….

    1. At least he wasn’t your own cousin.

      Hahahaa.Seriously, though: Yikes! Thanks for sharing your story. That sounds awful.

      But, you know, it was probably good practice for later on in your life.

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