Glimpses of Grief

Yesterday, I wrote about the death of a friend.

This is a post from another dear friend about the incident. Fourteen years later, and we’ve barely spoken about it. For me, it was just too much, and too connected to too many other things that have gone unspoken.
It’s strange, how sometimes with grief, there is a feeling of possessiveness. I’ve often had the feeling, “I own this TOO. This happened to ME too.”

And then there are the questions along the lines of, “Am I grieving CORRECTLY? Can people tell I’m grieving? Do they know how much it hurts? Are they judging me, in my grief, about whether I’m grieving enough? Visibly enough?”
Among the many lessons grief has taught me are that we all own it, and we all do it in our own ways, and in our own time, and that it comes back, unexpectedly, forever.

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Part of the solution since 1973.

6 thoughts on “Glimpses of Grief

    1. Thank you. My dear friend wrote this. She just set up a tribute blog, where she’ll be collecting things Heather created. In describing her to my husband yesterday, I realized I was describing a guru.

      1. Yes, you are! I checked out the tribute blog, and listened to several of Heather’s songs. She reminds me a little of Eva Cassidy, whose life and gift for writing music was cut tragically short by her death. BUT, her music and memory endures and so will Heather’s music and memory and her spirit flow through the love of her friends. Thank you both for sharing her with the rest of us. In Heather’s own words, “the way the winds of destiny bring us all together” (from White Elephants).

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