Drumroll Please

Announcing… the 2013 Fictionary™ entries, in the approximate order they were received:



  • Chlamydiot


  • Hybronym
  • Toesterone


Misha Burnett

That’s a Jenn Story

  • Ennouncement
  • Enniversary
  • Cankle

Cheri Speak

  • Blogitory
  • Carnacles

Tales of Urban Misanthropy

Miss Snarky Pants

  • Adorababy
  • Collide
  • Litterate
  • Mangrove
  • Melodrama
  • Microwave
  • Middlebrow
  • Nativity
  • Nexus
  • Opression
  • Shampoo
  • Vulcanic Eruption

This was a tough contest to judge.

Competition was fierce. Wits were sharp. Laughs were loud.

Muffins were baked.

Ross Murray (AKA Rosemary) entered the ring in full force, with his one-two punch: two blogs posts AND some clever comments.

Not to be outdone, INRS (who are you, oh mysterious, INRS) appealed to my public health geekiness with ‘Chlamydiot.’  Unfortunately, the judges had to disqualify INRS for submitting his/her/their entry solely in the comments.

Rarasaur and her sidekick swooped in, in true dino-hero style, to remind us that what we are working with here are ‘portmanteaux,’ which led to some silly late-night banter about Portlandtoes.

Ponderingspawned proferred an enlightening post about the ‘interinneruniversary,’ while Misha Burnett ‘thrickled’ us pink with his DIY style. Jenn electrified us with her electronic era (e-ra?) terms, and Cheri did her best to save us all from wallowing in ‘blogitory’ by designing a new, improved Fictionary™ badge.

Judging this has gotten my ‘anxions’ all in a tizzy, thanks to the Urban Misanthropist.

Then Miss Snarky Pants slipped in at the last minute with an entry for just about every part of speech.

Competition was fierce. Did I mention that? Fierce! 

Words were mashed.

Metaphors were mixed.

Minds were blown, and hearts may very well have been broken.

And… the grand prize, consisting, as you and your salivary glands no doubt recall, of a batch of my world famous Recrimination Muffins™ goes to…

wait for it…

Miss Snarky Pants!

Her winning entry, Fictionary: Preventing the Extinction of My Muffin Top, included TWELVE–count them, 12–entries for the Fictionary™. It was like the last supper for neologicians.

Rule breaker that she is, some of her entries were hilarious NEW definitions for existing words. And when I say “hilarious,” I mean, don’t drink milk while reading her post because you WILL snort it through your nose.

As if that weren’t enough, her entries included five separate parts of speech, and what can only be described as ‘revealing’ picture of Mr. Spock.

As if THAT weren’t enough, she centered her post around the theme of muffins… or, at least, her muffin top.

Her Pants will Remain Snarky

Plus, she had a legion of fans lobby me on her behalf. I scared one of them as we bantered in the comments section, but then we made up and became friends (didn’t we George Flores). I’ve never been on the receiving end of such a well-organized political action. Now I feel like the Governor, the Governor of Blogtown.

I better get baking.

Congratulations, Miss Snarky Pants.

Your muffin top will live to see another day. Look out for the Chopperrazzi.

The rest of you: thanks for playing!

Your entries were amazing, and will all be entered into the Fictionary™.

See you for another round next February!

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Part of the solution since 1973.

29 thoughts on “Drumroll Please

  1. Pingback: The Life of Kylie
  2. How has life been treating me, Kylie? Pretty effing wonderful now that I know my muffin top is secure. I’d like to thank my loyal readers who took the extra time out of their day to harass and threaten, erm, I mean, write thoughtful comments to Kylie explaining why my Fictionary entries should win over those submitted by my worthy competitors.

    Though, I must admit, I feel a little guilty about winning, seeing as how nepotism may have come into play here. After all, Kylie and I only recently discovered that we are twins. One day, when we finally meet in person, we’ll have a thumb war to determine who is the good twin and who is the evil one. In the meantime, Kylie holds the title as the twin most likely to bake me Recrimination Muffins. Of course, now that she’s got a REAL (aka “paying”) job, unlike me, I suppose I’ll have to be satisfied with the fact that I have her recipe.

    Kylie, honestly, don’t go to the trouble of baking muffins just for little ol’ me. A large (really effing big) bottle of top shelf vodka (Ketel One or don’t bother at all) will be more than sufficient. I hear ABC Liquors ships…

    Seriously, thank you, Kylie, for inspiring me to write the winning blog post. Without your challenge, I would have spent my time coming up with a brilliant solution to the whole sequestration thingie, but who needs that when they can spend their time on furlough reading Fictionary entries and laughing their skinny asses off?

  3. I hope the word “Mangrove” was the clincher. I like to envision a David Bowie Mangrove – but maybe dressed during his thin white duke years rather than his Ziggy phase.

    CONGRATS MISS SNARKY PANTS! Well played! Well played!

    Excellent contest and post, Kylie – I liked the AKA for my fabbo friend – you have a keen eye plus an aptitude for a witty rejoinder (definition 1) .

  4. I guess autocorrect made me INRS but I wasn’t entering the contest since Chlamydiot is not my creation. I heard it in the hilarious series Archer. I highly recommend it.

    1. Cheri, it was a tough call. ‘Blogitory’ was an especially good entry, possibly deserving of a local delivery of something delightful and chocolate.

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