1. Wait until the afternoon before they are due. This enhances your stress level.
2. Make sure the toddler is a) home, b) not sleeping well, and c) going through a clingy phase. Having a toddler on your lap, reaching down your shirt, and begging to ‘eesh more‘ will really improve your ability to think clearly.
3. Also make sure the toddler is going through a BANG! CRASH! THROW! BREAK! phase. This undermines concentration.
4. Accidentally-on-purpose, be tapering off your anti-depressants. This will further undermine your concentration and really increase the intensity of your snarly commands to your significant other to HELP.
5. Nod your head in agreement when your significant other volunteers to cook a fantastic, four-course Mediterranean feast with enough left-overs for the week. This will allow you to appear ungrateful and bitchy later, when you get frustrated with him for cooking instead of helping with a) the toddler, and b) the taxes.
6. Make sure, despite your good intentions and best efforts, to not have quite saved every single donation receipt.
7. Don’t document your mileage for driving you did for contract work. It’s not like that’s deductible or anything.
8. Discover that as a self-employed consultant, you earned just enough to cover child care and taxes last year, and wonder if it was worth it. Also discover that the several thousands of dollars of pro bono work you performed is not deductible. Try not to just quit and pout and doubt your purpose in life. Go take an antidepressant.
9. See items #2 and #3 and remember THAT’s why it’s a good reason to maintain child care. Also, tell yourself the work you do matters, and it’s interesting.
10. Realize you can’t download your student loan interest statement because the loan servicing center’s website is down for maintenance, naturally, but keep checking back because they are probably in a different time zone.
11. Send your former nanny an email saying you forgot to report the additional withholding she’d requested. Offer to write her a check. Get her hopes up. On tax day, when you are finalizing everything, realize you DID in fact report things correctly and you made a mistake because of reasons #1 through #5. Apologize and feel crappy.
12. Somehow, manage to eek out a small refund, and hope that you didn’t screw things up too badly.
- TAX DAY: Get your last-minute return ready (foxbusiness.com)
- Tax Day: Last-minute tax tips for procrastinators (abclocal.go.com)
- Money Saving Monday: Last-Minute Tax Deductions and FREEBIES Today (whnt.com)