1. Wait until the afternoon before they are due. This enhances your stress level.
2. Make sure the toddler is a) home, b) not sleeping well, and c) going through a clingy phase. Having a toddler on your lap, reaching down your shirt, and begging to ‘eesh more‘ will really improve your ability to think clearly.
3. Also make sure the toddler is going through a BANG! CRASH! THROW! BREAK! phase. This undermines concentration.
4. Accidentally-on-purpose, be tapering off your anti-depressants. This will further undermine your concentration and really increase the intensity of your snarly commands to your significant other to HELP.
5. Nod your head in agreement when your significant other volunteers to cook a fantastic, four-course Mediterranean feast with enough left-overs for the week. This will allow you to appear ungrateful and bitchy later, when you get frustrated with him for cooking instead of helping with a) the toddler, and b) the taxes.
6. Make sure, despite your good intentions and best efforts, to not have quite saved every single donation receipt.
7. Don’t document your mileage for driving you did for contract work. It’s not like that’s deductible or anything.
8. Discover that as a self-employed consultant, you earned just enough to cover child care and taxes last year, and wonder if it was worth it. Also discover that the several thousands of dollars of pro bono work you performed is not deductible. Try not to just quit and pout and doubt your purpose in life. Go take an antidepressant.
9. See items #2 and #3 and remember THAT’s why it’s a good reason to maintain child care. Also, tell yourself the work you do matters, and it’s interesting.
10. Realize you can’t download your student loan interest statement because the loan servicing center’s website is down for maintenance, naturally, but keep checking back because they are probably in a different time zone.
11. Send your former nanny an email saying you forgot to report the additional withholding she’d requested. Offer to write her a check. Get her hopes up. On tax day, when you are finalizing everything, realize you DID in fact report things correctly and you made a mistake because of reasons #1 through #5. Apologize and feel crappy.
12. Somehow, manage to eek out a small refund, and hope that you didn’t screw things up too badly.
Related articles
- TAX DAY: Get your last-minute return ready (foxbusiness.com)
- Tax Day: Last-minute tax tips for procrastinators (abclocal.go.com)
- Money Saving Monday: Last-Minute Tax Deductions and FREEBIES Today (whnt.com)
Two business, still use Turbo Tax. But I also use Quicken for Business and transfer everything into Turbo Tax then work backwards. It works pretty well.
The work you do is important.
I could probably use some advice! Or maybe just plan ahead. Or both. Still learning!
Thanks, Valentine.
I have a feeling that writing a blog post about doing taxes – while doing taxes – should be one of the items on the list 🙂
It was a post mortem.
Oh, ok, it just felt as though the pain and suffering of unfinished tax preparation were seeping through.
Oh the pain and suffering were fresh! These events took place on Sunday, and were laid to rest on Monday.
Eek. Miserable. We are so lucky to have a neighbour who (get this) likes filing taxes. This year he did mine, my spouse’s and our three income-earning dependents for $100. And he feels sheepish for asking that much!
OK, I have a feeling I’m not making you feel any better.
I imagine my taxes would be far too complicated for your neighbor.
But I’d probably be much happier with what they pay for in Canada!
Haha! We did #1 already.
Wow. That is not good. Thanks for sharing. Now I feel better.
ha!
It gets better. I forgot to include the part about “Review husband’s investment statements and see that his ex-wife is still listed as a beneficiary”!
Today sounds like HELL…ask for a ‘do-over’ – see if ‘they’ say ‘yes!’
We brought it on ourselves!! Procrastination bites you in the you-know-what every time.
I think I need a drink now…Just reading this post has me frazzled for you…
And we forgot to buy wine when we were buying all the ingredients for the tabouli, mjadra, kibbeh, and what can only be called the ‘special nutmeg spinach.’ A drink is definitely on the menu tonight.
I’ve had tabouli from a Lebanese pal, but can’t pronounce anything else on your menu. Shame on you for forgetting wine. Even so, I hope dinner is delicious and you avoid being audited.
TurboTax says our audit risk is low, so that’s a reason to open a bottle!
How to do your taxes:
1. Palm the whole thing off on your significant other.
Next year, for sure.
First time in my LIFE someone else has done my taxes for me . . . and I’m pretty sure I’m going to see to it that this new annual tradition continues.
Yes. We are going to work with an accountant from here on out. TurboTax just doesn’t cut it anymore. Being self-employed and having a household employee for part of the year has made it too complicated!
Oh man. Yeah. Forget it!
Didn’t file, retired didn’t make enough to qualify for the elite group of supporters of the gov’t. I’ll try harder this year.
Think of all the fun you’re missing!
Oh, that does not sound fun at all. But I agree–the work you do DOES matter, so please, keep doing it. 🙂
Thank you! I’m pretty sure I’ll make LESS than we’ll pay in childcare this year, but I’m also going to go back to school for a certificate in non-profit management to update my Master’s and do some networking. And it’s good for mommy not to go crazy.
For sure. A crazy mommy doesn’t do anyone any good. 😉