Top Ten Ways Dining Out with a Toddler is Like a Bad Date
10. They always make you late.
9. When you get to the restaurant, they complain–loudly–about how they’re TIRED of this place.
8. They are bad listeners. During dinner, they talk only about themselves.
7. They sometimes take their shirts off and dance on the table.
6. They steal food off your plate without asking. After you ask them not to, they do it again.
5. They drink so much they pee themselves.
4. Unwelcome groping: they reach down your shirt and lift up your skirt.
3. If you share a dessert, they eat most of it. With their hands.
2. They run for the door, laughing, leaving you to pay the bill.
1. After all this, they STILL expect to sleep with you.