Top Ten Ways Dining Out with a Toddler is Like a Bad Date

Top Ten Ways Dining Out with a Toddler is Like a Bad Date

10. They always make you late.

9. When you get to the restaurant, they complain–loudly–about how they’re TIRED of this place.

8. They are bad listeners. During dinner, they talk only about themselves.

Toddler Bad Date
You Gonna Eat That?

7. They sometimes take their shirts off and dance on the table.

6. They steal food off your plate without asking. After you ask them not to, they do it again.

5.Β They drink so much they pee themselves.

4. Unwelcome groping: they reach down your shirt and lift up your skirt.

3. If you share a dessert, they eat most of it. With their hands.

2. They run for the door, laughing, leaving you to pay the bill.

1. After all this, they STILL expect to sleep with you.

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38 thoughts on “Top Ten Ways Dining Out with a Toddler is Like a Bad Date

      1. Oh my! One of my dear friends was out for a casual Friday night family dinner at the corner pizza joint when the stomach flu came on FULL FORCE with her 20 month old. Let’s just say she won’t be showing her face there any time soon :(( She was knee deep in puked on clothes, sheets, floors and hair the entire weekend. The things we put up with for true love, huh?!

          1. Yikes!! I have thrown away more than one pair of our little guys underwear when he’s done that… I cannot stand to let it sit in a bag in the car … I cloth diapered too, I think I hit my shit quota and just cannot take anymore without gagging!!!!

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