St. Halloween

Anti-GMO Halloween Pamphlet

I’ve been spending a lot of time on a Facebook page that satirizes sanctimommies.

It’s glorious.

A bunch of bored wickedly funny and brilliant moms (and a few dads) let loose with the snark… it’s so bad it’s good.

“Halloweek” has been particularly enjoyable, what with all the news about the sanctimonious treats tracts being passed out:

You probably already heard about The (Fat) Children’s Crusade lady:

Fat Shaming Halloween Letter
Shame and Blame: Well-known Motivators

But did you know about the Junk Science Anti-Vax Lady?

Anti-Vaccination Halloween Pamphlet
The “Autism Warrior” is Handing out Junk Science this Halloween

Or that GMO’s should scare you more than Zombies?

Anti-GMO Halloween Pamphlet
Forget Zombies, GMO’s Scare Me

But, how about the true spirit of Halloween?

You know, Christ died for our sins and that means no costumes or candy for you.

Fake Money with Religious Halloween Tract
Sanctimoney
Fake Money with Religious Halloween Message
Children: Will You Go to Heaven or Hell?
Fake Money with Religious Halloween Message
You Broke God’s Law (Trick or Treat?)

As reasonable mommies, what could the rest of us possibly hand-out for Halloween?

Here is an excerpt of just a FEW of the BRILLIANT ideas we came up with (forgive the variable sizes–NOTHING is cooperating!):

Funny Halloween Facebook Thread

Funny Halloween Facebook ThreadFunny Halloween Facebook ThreadFunny Halloween Facebook threadFunny Halloween Facebook Thread

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In truth, I’m grateful when people hand out hippie candy. That’s what I like to give out, but I’ve realized I spend a lot of money on candy, that according to this (not at all scripted) video from Crest, makes the kids puke…

So I think I’ll save (what I consider)  the good stuff for my little snowflakes and, next year we’ll hand out all the junk everybody gave my kids. They’ll never notice the difference, will they?

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Part of the solution since 1973.

10 thoughts on “St. Halloween

  1. That video is hilarious!! My kids will probably eat too much candy. According to my son, he got 8 lbs of candy!! Not quite, but it might as well be. That letter is too much. That could scar kids for life.

    1. It’s terrible, right? I’ll have to find out if she really went through with it.

      My son is REALLY excited about his candy bag, which he keeps calling his Christmas bag. I was spoiled with my daughter who loves veggies and seems to lack the sweet tooth gene. She would actually really dig the nori pops and tofu marshmallows!! So funny. My son is the opposite though. Luckily, he has the energy to burn it all off (I hope).

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